Another Year

Tomorrow is the very last day of 2009. It seems hardly possible that the first decade of the 21st century has passed us by. Ten years ago, we were all partying like it was 1999. Because it was. And because I was 24 and had a sparkly engagement ring and felt the world was my oyster. I laughed in the face of Y2K. You know, I had a wedding dress to buy. And whether computers could convert their language from 99 to 00 was the least of my concerns.

And soon it will be 2010. Ten years has given me one wedding, one law degree, and two children. And that is a lot for the world to bestow on one person in one decade. But most of all, this decade has given me maturity. Maturity in major ways...growing, birthing, and raising children will change you in ways my wedding dress buying self couldn't have imagined. Maturity in minor ways...rinsing dishes before putting them in the dishwasher is a good idea, mom!

But most of all, when I think of my sparkly engagement ring 24 year old self, I think that I wish I would have enjoyed her and her sparkly life more. And when it is ten years from tonight and we contemplate 2020, what will I think about myself? Probably that I wished I enjoyed my children more when they were young. That I wished I were in the moment more, present to my life around me.

And so those are my goals for 2010. To be present in the moment more. A small sentence. A vast statement. An uphill battle for a brain that can't stop...busy, busy, busy with things to do, with things to worry about, with things to dislike. But a step in the right direction. No more resolutions to lose weight, eat healthier, not drink a bottle of wine on a weeknight. Because those aren't the things that stick in my mind. I want sparkle. I want happy. I want in the moment.